It’s 2am now… I just cannot sleep, so here I am typing this entry using my laptop. Hope that tomorrow morning I can put this entry in my blog (I don’t have internet at home)..
Now, listening to Chris Brown song.. my favorite would be ‘Throwed’ & ‘Wall to Wall’ and not forgetting ‘With You’.
Got mixing feelings. Don’t know what happen to me this week. Seems like everything I do is not right. Being involved in an argument.. not really argument la… it’s more on voicing out my opinion to other people which finally results in an argument. Coz I think I need to voice it out to make things better. But, it’s normal. Certain people cannot accept our opinion just because of their seniority or maybe they are just stubborn or too ego to accept it. Thank God that my big boss understand the situation and back up me. It’s hard actually to work in an environment where most of the engineers and executive levels are guys. I’m the only lady (engineer) here besides other 2 lady executive which not really involve in technical area. I have to be strong mentally to reach at my position now. A lot of sacrifice & tears, lots of learning process. But it somehow makes me stronger everyday. It teaches me to be a more matured person & how to make a good decision. Some people might not like the way I act or the way I decide, but finally they will understand that I was just trying to do my best. To create something new is not an easy thing!! U have to swallow all the critics which sometimes hurts you, but it somehow teach you to be strong and those critics can be taken in a positive manner… meaning that we take those critics to improve ourselves and also our work. I have a very high expectation when it comes to my work. I’m really serious with my career. I’m not working to just get the monthly salary!! But I want the knowledge, the experience, the satisfaction and the trust of course!! Am I’m being too ambitious??!! I just don’t know… but one thing for sure, I love all my sub-ordinates and office mate in my department coz they are the one who really support me all the way. And also to my big boss for trusting me through all these years.
Ok ok… enough on the work. Let’s go to the other side of me.
There’s something that bothering me lately. Some of my gym friends ask me to join something. But I just don’t know. I was like… hmm.. interested but… can I do it? I mean there’s a side of me saying that I can’t do it… it’s very tough… only certain people can do it. But, there’s the other side of me pulak saying, maybe I can. I just don’t know.
Hmm.. last Tuesday had the opportunity joining the new release of bodyjam at Hartamas. It was fun. It’s 5 of us in one car. We reached there early, so can take a look of the gym there. Ok la… nice. But I still think that Taipan one still the best. The new release was fun!! Seeing one of my favorite instructor on the stage really make my adrenalin traveling everywhere in my body. All the song very nice. The movement also nice especially the hip hop. I really like it as it’s all about the attitude hehehe… you can be a ‘sombong’ person when you do the dance heheheh… hahahah… can’t believe that I’m saying this!!
Oh before that is conga… I like it too!! When you do the movement, imagine that you are wearing those high heels dancing on the stage heheheh… best kan!!
I screamed while dancing coz I really had fun!! Can feel the energy from the 2 instructors on stage.
After that it’s attack. Coz of some reason, I didn’t join it. I just watched them doing it from outside. Can see some of my friends were having fun doing the new attack. The music is very nice especially ‘don’t stop the music’. I just spent about 15 minutes watching the new attack before going back.
So, yesterday I join the attack class with my favorite instructor. He was a cool guy & always give us motivation while doing the movement. This time the attack is very good. The musics all are nice especially the rihanna and fantasia barrino song. I enjoyed doing it!! Somemore, most of my attack hardcore friends are there also joining the class. So we had a great time, laughing, making jokes & screaming during the class. Can u believe that?! Can make joke tau during this high impact class. Hahahahah… so crazy!! Really fun!! I just can’t describe it. You have to experience it yourself
How how!! Still cannot sleep. Now feel hungry pulak!! Now almost 3am. Macam mana ni? Tomorrow have to work. Actually it’s not a working day for my company. But I have to be there in order to make some preparation for this Monday meeting. Furthermore, need to do some monitoring. Aisey.. sad song la pulak. ‘My All’ by Mariah Carey. Huhuhu…
I’m not sure whether all of you feel the way I feel or not. But, I feel that when we like someone, we tend to close all of the doors to other person. Meaning that others can just knock it but definitely cannot enter it. You know what I mean right?! Everything you want to know about the person which makes it very disturbing sometimes. In some situation, you are not really connected or close to that person, but somehow he/she can affect your life. This person can make you feel happy and at times can also make you feel sad. You’re not sure the feeling is real or not. Usually, you’re always in the state of denial. You always deny what you feel. Saying that..”maybe it’s just main2… or maybe it’s just for fun”. Coz at the end of the day, you still need to continue with your life. What you feel doesn’t matter anymore. Who cares with what you are feeling?! Nobody!! So, it’s better to let go of it rather than continue with it and feel miserable about it.
We always ask lots of things from God, but do you realize that instead of giving us what we ask for, He give us something that is more valuable. For example, we ask God to give us the person that we like, but instead of getting that person, He gave us another person which is better. I mean, you will not realize it, but once you go on with your life, you will realize it.
Ok la… dah feeling sleepy. Hope can wake up early tomorrow morning. Ooppss.. silap.. this morning heeheh…
